FAITH LIKE THIS

Nowhere among God's Chosen People did Jesus find faith like the pagan centurion's: "Sir, I am not worthy to have you under my roof; just give the word and my servant will be cured" (Mt 8:6).

Faith like this means giving up our most cherished dreams, and dropping our most carefully laid plans, if need be, and no longer relying on our own strength, or pushing for the gifts that we feel we should be allowed to develop, or the policies that we have decided upon,

even after prayerful consideration. To give up these things that are so close to our hearts may be more painful than suffering a bodily injury, and the loss may take much longer to heal.

Faith means giving them up, if necessary, so as to commit ourselves to God's will for us: "My God, I entrust myself to you. Do with me what you want. Don't spare me, but make me who you want me to be. Whatever you want to do with me, give me the help I need to do it, and to thank you."

Sometimes, we have been praying like that for years, and something happens that is beyond our control, for example, a serious illness, and we are forced to face up to God's will for us. Then we realise that we had been promoting a whole set of dreams, plans, gifts, and policies of our own. How hard it is to let them go, and to give God his way.

Jesus asks for this kind of faith before he can do anything for us: "Go back, then, you have believed, so let this be done for you." Certainly, he can't work miracles unless he finds the person of faith who co-operates fully with God's plans.

Faith like this demands the sacrifice of the whole person, so easy to say but so hard to do. Am I ready for whatever? Do I accept anything that God may see fit for me? How do we react to a prayer like this: "Father, provided your will is done in me, I desire nothing else. I place my entire being in your hands. I give my life back to you, my God, with all the love that I am capable of."

It isn't easy to be so humble. Can you imagine a self-assured Roman centurion telling a walk-about Jew. "I'm not worthy that you should come into my home." Jesus found that few could bring themselves to this kind of faith, even in Israel, who were God's Chosen People. God had certainly lavished his goodness on them, but many failed to respond in faith, or were only half-hearted about it.

If we feel ourselves baulking at the self-surrender involved, no need to be discouraged. The disciples of Jesus were slow to believe, even after Jesus had risen from death.

Faith does extraordinary things, greater miracles than Jesus worked. He said so himself: "Whoever believes in me will perform the same works as I do myself, he will perform even greater works" (John 14:12).

We enjoy feeling healthy, confident, secure and strong in our self; we want our gifts to be recognised. The man of faith may find himself deprived of strength, and not given the chance he wanted to develop his gifts, but his appeal to God is never refused: "If you have faith, everything you ask for in prayer you will receive" (Mt 21:22).

Young Francis Bernadone entertained splendid dreams about himself. He would rise above the merchant class and win a renowned knighthood as the reward of his gallantry in battle. But his dreams were shattered. He was reduced to being taken prisoner of war and became seriously ill. His father had to bail him out. Back in Assisi, he was still ill and was disturbed for some time. What could the future hold for him?

His Three Companions tell us that one day, when he was begging for the Lord's mercy, "the Lord showed him that he would be told in the near future what he must do."

"While he was walking by the church of San Damiano, he was told in the Spirit to go inside for a prayer. Once he entered, he began to pray intensely before an image of the Crucified:

Most High,

glorious God,

enlighten the darkness of my heart

and give me

true faith,

certain hope,

and perfect charity,

sense and knowledge,

Lord,

that I may carry out

Your holy and true command.

"The Crucified spoke to him in a tender and kind voice: 'Francis, don't you see that my house is being destroyed? Go, then, and rebuild it for me.' Stunned and trembling, he said, 'I will do so gladly, Lord.' " (Legend of the Three Companions, 13, in FA:ED II, p.76).

Secular Franciscans are "called like Saint Francis to rebuild the Church and [to be] inspired by his example" (Rule 6). Faith like this is what we Franciscans are called to live by.

We can be absolutely sure of this: God will never refuse us when we ask in faith to be reconciled to our self, to others, and to God.